The internal mind of an amateur Keeper
It’s sunny, it’s my first game of the season, I’m utterly shattered, but it’s sunny and how good can they be. Oh it’s a long ball I’ll let in bounce, I’ve got it ok, well that’s number one of the day. Boot it sideways, oh you’ve booted it straight, Oh Adam’s there, Adam’s got it. Still 0-0, why won’t they shoot, shoot for God sakes shoot, oh wait another one incoming, boot it sideways, boot it…. Oh it’s rebounded in.
Now everything’s a mess, my minds in the ground and every bounce seems more erratic than the last, is it the Gloves, is it the ball, it’s my ability or is it my mind? (Is this the opening to Life on Mars, I so fucking wish it was the 1970’s at least the pitch wouldn’t have any bounce)
2-1 down is it, or is it 3, I just want out, did I order the Pizza, yeah I think that was done, I can’t think straight, can’t do the basics, oh shot, saved.. Well sort of, I could have held that. It’s sunny at least.
The whistle must be soon, a strike from 20 yards out, this is easy… Oh it’s in, is that the whistle thank fuck that’s over.
Old Tiffs V’s 1 – 3 Dorkinians VI
Note: After numerous none efforts, Josh Brown showed a rare spark of quality by taking it from the edge of the box and running the length of the field to score a sublime beautifully crafted goal to the bottom left of the keeper, being the tiffs such quality won’t catch on, it however is the only factual note in this entire report, bar the keeper had a bad day.