Old Tiffs 1st XI further demonstrated their pathological fear of cup second rounds with a 4-2 humbling at the hands of Worcester College Old Boys in Chiswick. The purps got off to a rare flier with Matthews’s speculative diagonal causing chaos in the WC box… Aidan Smith picked up where daddy had left off last week by snaffling a chance at the breakdown to force home an early advantage.

The lead proved to be shortlived. Alas, a viciously directed in-swinging corner went straight in at the far post – a post inexplicably abandoned by a seemingly hungover winger. Tiffs’ confidence was shot; they conceded a second in quick succession when a long throw was allowed to bounce across the six yard box. SNIFFER JUNIOR eventually nodding into his own onion bag under considerable pressure.

A swift counter attack saw WC build a commanding 3-1 half time lead… As Paul and Barry Chuckle in the OT’s defence saw a grim ‘to-me-to-you’ farce ended with a ‘to the back of your net’ finish.

Seb Rose roused the beleaguered troops with a rousing, borderline Churchillian battle – cry… Something along the lines of ‘Keep it up lads… We’re doing ok’. This inspired something of a fightback as Matthews made his only positive contribution to a match he would sooner forget… He collected an Osborne knock-down before curling sweetly in via the far post.

The faint flame of hope that this consolation provided was cruelly extinguished moments after the restart… Paddy Marks was upended by a sniper from Chiswick Bridge, before an absent midfield quintet allowed a scooped through ball to be lobbed gracefully over a despairing Rose.

James Matthews was awarded man of the match for a stoic display at centre half; despite some hideously misdirected clearances. The southern counties AFA ‘Milk Cup’ will be all the poorer without the Old Tiffinians name being in the hat.