OTFC IIs vs Old St Mary’s II

14th December 2019

Old St Mary's II 4 - 1 OTFC IIs

A festive match report for the OTFC 2nd XI this week. Rather than dwell on what was a rather unconvincing display of amateur football by all three of the entities that graced the boggy marshes of Bexley that day, let us reflect with some festive football fun instead:

 

On the first day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • An away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the second day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the third day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the fourth day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the fifth day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Five no-showers…
  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the sixth day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Six clear-cut chances…
  • Five no-showers…
  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the seventh day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Seven shifty supporters…
  • Six clear-cut chances…
  • Five no-showers…
  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the eighth day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI¬†¬†gave to me…

  • Eight fouls by KOW…
  • Seven shifty supporters…
  • Six clear-cut chances…
  • Five no-showers…
  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the ninth day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Nine teams above us…
  • Eight fouls by KOW…
  • Seven shifty supporters…
  • Six clear-cut chances…
  • Five no-showers…
  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the tenth day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Ten terrible decisions…
  • Nine teams above us…
  • Eight fouls by KOW…
  • Seven shifty supporters…
  • Six clear-cut chances…
  • Five no-showers…
  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the eleventh day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Eleven players playing…
  • Ten terrible decisions…
  • Nine teams above us…
  • Eight fouls by KOW…
  • Seven shifty supporters…
  • Six clear-cut chances…
  • Five no-showers…
  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

 

On the twelfth day of Tiffsmas, the 2nd XI gave to me…

  • Twelve pints at The Black Horse…
  • Eleven players playing…
  • Ten terrible decisions…
  • Nine teams above us…
  • Eight fouls by KOW…
  • Seven shifty supporters…
  • Six clear-cut chances…
  • Five no-showers…
  • Four social no-shows…
  • Three yellow cards…
  • Two own goals…
  • And an away match in the depths of Bexley.

Final Score: Old St. Mary’s IIs 4-1 OTFC IIs

New Year’s resolution… If we are going to score three goals, we will strive to put them all in the opposition’s net going forward.

Editor’s note… KOW’s impressive unicycle kick did not deserve a mention. Whatsoever.